My Journey to Wholeness

Over twenty years ago, I set off into the mountains of Montana for reasons that I was not quite sure of at the time.  I just knew that it was something I was meant to do.  Below is a picture of me as I set off to find what was to become my home for the next week. It was a challenging week but also one of great reflection and self discovery.  I went to sleep each night wearing a whistle around my neck so that when bear visited at night I had the means to scare them off.  That is right, a .99 whistle.  I would hike the duffle bag containing my food supply  away from camp each day to hang it high above in trees with the hopes of limiting those late night whistle blowing sessions.  I spent a few evenings kneeling tightly beside a tree searching for protection from violent electrical storms wondering why I thought a towering tree of wood was a safe haven.  I learned a lot living in nature those seven days.  I was trying to find a part or myself that I felt I had lost or perhaps trying to discover a part of myself I had not yet come to know.  I knew that I wanted to slow down.  I wanted to have time to just be.  I wanted to write and I wanted to feel connected to something greater than myself.  I wanted to be in the present moment wherever that was.   One evening in my tent, I wrote the following poem in my journal:
All The Way -
On my journey to wholeness I strive
Seeking a balance
An inner peacefulness

Stars shine with brilliance
Clouds thunderously clamor
Winds burst through me
Carrying my spirit soaring
The rain beats rhythmically 
Chanting its sacred mantra

May my higher being guide me
With each passing day
Protect and Comfort me
As I strive to discover.....
     All The Way

A lot of life has been lived since I was that young woman looking to find herself in those woods.  I am married to an amazing man and my best friend raising two incredible teenage daughters.  I look at my job now teaching Mindfulness at an amazing center and the title of my blog - A journey Through Mindfulness, and I just smile.  My life has been an amazing journey through Mindfulness. The quest for peace has always been with me and it is this quest that has led me to where I am now.
As I sit writing this blog post, I have beside my a packing list for an adventure our family is about to embark on.  It is now my husband's turn to go deep into the wilderness for a week of just being and his dream includes sharing the experience with his "three girls".   We will be white water rafting and camping along the middle fork of the Salmon River in Idaho for five nights.  It is also called the Frank Church river of No Return Wilderness but that "No Return" part puts me off a bit so I go by the Middle fork of the Salmon.  There will be no wifi which means no technology the entire time we are out on the river. I think having the gift of all four of us disconnected with no cell phones, i-pads, lap tops, or technology of any kind is one of the things that I am most excited about.   As I was all of those years ago, I find myself nervous, terrified, and excited all at the same time.  Our two teenage daughters think Dad has lost his mind and can't think of anything they would rather do less. I believe they will have a different perspective after the experience.  At least I am hoping so.  I am not a big white water rapids fan so I have my own reservations but I do believe that extraordinary things can happen when we can just be at one with ourselves in nature.  I believe that memories for a lifetime will be made and I look forward to sleeping under the stars and telling stories around a campfire with my beautiful family looking back at the journey that has been traveled smiling as I remember that poem written so long ago. What an amazing ride it has been! I look forward to what I have to share with you all once we return.